I wish there was that moment, just one moment, that I can pinpoint as the turning point. The last time I talked to most of you was in August. What. The. Hell? It has actually been almost six months since I last posted on this blog... but it doesn't mean that I haven't tried. This is actually the sixth time that I have started a post, but it marks the first time that I have actually finished one. I have run through the gamut of excuses for why I haven't written:
- Excuse #1: "Oh. Em. Gee. Guys, life has been so overwhelming! I've been traveling so much, and it's so hard to write on the road!"
(Which basically says, "Forgive me for being a privileged little bitch. I am so lucky, I get to apologize for it." #Imtheworst)
- Excuse #2: "Oh. Em. Gee. Guys, I have been going on dates as research! I went on so many dates that I went on several dates with this one guy, and it was awesome. So awesome that we became friends on Facebook. Then he stopped talking to me out of nowhere, and I was really bummed and decided to hide from writing because of it!"
(Which basically says, "Forgive me for getting to go on so many dates, because I decided to write a blog about it and here we are. Also, I hope you are reading this dude who disappeared — you know who you are!" #coveredinSHADE)
- Excuse #3: "Oh. Em. Gee. Guys, I have been working so much, and it's sooooo stressful, I don't know what to do!"
(Which basically says, "I think that I am the most unique person ever, and I am the only person who has ever worked a lot. I am so lucky to have a job!" #ungrateful)
- Excuse #4: "Oh. Em. Gee. I took so long off that I started to worry that I was bland and nothing was funny and everything I wrote was drivel. Oh, also, I wasn't inspired and I hated myself for saying I wasn't inspired, because that is literal bullshit. But now I have gone back and forth so much that I should really sleep on it and wait until tomorrow. OMG, tomorrow is Friday, so if I post then, no one will read it and that seems silly. JUST WAIT TIL NEXT WEEK!"
(Which basically says, "My logic is flawed, but I said a lot of things at once, so I hope you didn't notice the ridiculousness of it." #circleoflogic)
So here we are, four of my main excuses for the last six months for not writing. I have given them to many of you who have asked why I am not writing. I have made empty promises to write more while dancing at bars and empty promises while sitting in bars. (Which is technically your fault for believing me whilst drinking adult beverages, but who's here to point blame?) I have made the same promises to myself. (Funnily enough, also whilst drinking and dancing... alone.)
So what changed, why now? I think I had been writing this blog on and off for so long that I forgot why I was writing it. I was living my life for the stories that I would get to tell you, rather than living life and letting the ridiculous happen. I began hoping that dates would go poorly because I was anxious to write about it. I know this might sound pretentious, but I realized that wasn't why I started this whole thing. I started this blog as an outlet for me to talk about the naturally absurd things that happened to me. I love to tell a story... but the story has to be real for you... and for me.
("Omg, omg, omg. Shit just got real! Omg, what do we do now???" — Judgey readers of the blog)
Right, I know, things got a little to full of the "feels" for a blog about gay dating and ridiculous life stories. I just wanted to let you know that I took the last six months to live my life without thinking about the stories. I lived my life and ridiculous things just happened. I went on dates, I traveled, and I worked too much and I found out that I still have a crap ton of stories for all of you. True stories that I am embarrassed and, simultaneously, excited to tell you about.
(I swear... no more emotional paragraphs!)
SO, what the hell does that mean for you? Well, it means that I am going to post every Wednesday from now until the foreseeable future.
Judgey Reader: We have heard this before — how do we know you're not full of shit?
Me: Well, you don't.
Judgey Reader: You're not good at this whole being "convincing" thing, are you?
Me: See, I could lie to you and sell you on me, but what fun is that? I will prove to you that I am not full of shit, and I will post every Wednesday.
Judgey Reader: But today is Thursday. Why did you start this on a Thursday and not on a Wednesday?
Me: You're LITERALLY the worst. I decided this while sitting in a gay bar, by myself, trying to hit the $10 minimum to use my credit card. It was $2 drink night. I was also alone.
Judgey Reader: So you decided this drunk? Yup, this will last.
Me: GOOD POINT! SCREW YOU!
(Queen B said it. You're fake arguing, through a dialogue I made up, and it is now getting on my nerves. So, you know, stop and let it happen.)
You'll just have to wait and see. This blog will continue to transform and will be my commentary on life, my personal life stories, adventures in dating, and plenty of drinking games (ugh Mama Fab — I feel the judgement. Just accept it, I'm a lush.) I hope you are ready for January 29.
Blog Readers: Hopefully, still with me
Mama Fab: Possibly judging, but also excited for the drunk games
The Blog: Happy to feel the soft caress of a long lost lover. Shhh, baby boy, it will all be all right.
Fabulously Lost: Innocent until proven shady
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