Just a Quickie

Hey there loyal friends and followers. I wanted to go ahead and give you a quick update about what is going on in my life and why I haven't posted about my amazing time in Brazil!!!!! (Just your average 20-something globetrotter.) Real talk: My job sent me there, if they didn't I wouldn't be able to afford JACK. Life is still in the fabulously lost state that it has always been in, I'm just getting temporary glimpses at what I would like my life to be like full-time.

(I'm like Lilo- I know what glamourous and fabulous tastes like...but I just can't seem to hold onto it. TWINZIES. Minus the jail time. Sorry Cady)

As soon as I got home from my trip on Monday at 10am (after traveling for 12+hrs) I worked until 9pm to make sure I didn't fall behind. Every day since then I have been working 10-12hrs and I just haven't had the time to write a post I felt was good enough for all of you. It takes a solid 2hrs for me to write, create, and put together something I feel that is good for you, sometimes it takes longer. The stories are all real and authentic, I just have to figure out how to word everything so it doesn't sound as jumbled as it does in my head. 

That being said, I work very hard and I play even harder. I am heading out to the beach with 18 of my closest college friends in a couple of hours. I will be the token gay friend. I am sure we will have some stories for when I come back. I promise I will have something for all of you on Monday morning about Brazil and then later in the week about this silly beach trip. 

Lets recap some of my favorite things form this week: 

1. Honey Boo Boo: HOLY SHIZNAT. I got all caught up with my favorite little caffeine addicted redneck the other night and I am PUH-LEASED. The family never disappoints me with their antics, yet I am constantly finding myself a little choked up with TLC's presentation of how close they are. 

Let's discuss for a minute why they might not actually be losing the weight they all seem so desperate to lose. They are making SKETTI with Ketchup and Butter Sauce. (just let that simmer for a minute.) That's right they combine ketchup and butter to make sauce for their sketti. It's not a little bit of butter, its at LEAST one ice cream scoop full of butter with an entire container of ketchup. No wonder Mama needs to coupon....they go through ketchup like crazy! She also said she feeds her family of 6 for $80 a week...Where the frick are they shopping? #heyjealousy. This upcoming week marks the season finale for our beloved family, and you bet I will be tuning in to see what crazy situations they get into! 

2. P!nk - Ok, so I just queened the fuck out over P!nk's new album. I can't even pretend anything I have listened to has been remotely "straight" this week. She has songs called Slut Like You and Walk of Shame on the album. I listened to the whole album without looking at song titles and those two were my favorites on the album. I felt like I connected to the lyrics. THEN I REALIZED WHAT SHE WAS SINGING....and I still felt okay about my choices. (lezz be ahnist, I would love to do a walk of shame or be a slut at this point. #celibacy2012)

(I just like that I'm gay so I don't have to pretend like I don't like shit like this)

3. Brazil Preview- Just to give you an idea of what happened in Brazil I am going to break it down into four quick highlights: 

• I got hit on by a beautiful Polish girl who didn't quite understand that I am a homosexual man. She didn't understand it when I tried to explain it and she gave me her hotel information even after one of the people I as on the trip with pretended to be my girlfriend. I am one HOT tamale in Brazil....for Polish girls...
• I crashed a rooftop birthday party at a nightclub in downtown Sao Paulo. The person taking us to the club told us there would be tons of beautiful women. The party ended up being for wildly attractive gay man and all of his attractive Brazilian gay friends. I was in heaven. 
• I got into a car with two strange Brazilian girls who barely spoke english and two of my friends, so they could get lucky. They took us to a random part of town where there were people swarming the streets drinking and partying at 3am. I didn't die...but I almost did. 
• My night ended in a Brazilian Hospital. (Shout out to Daddy Raids and Sharif)

Holy frick, I am late for a very important date!!! I promise to give you full updates very soon. I don't think I will be working 12hr days every day next week. 

Fabulously Lost: Kinda cultured bitches 

Brazil: The bees knees

P!nk: Ugh...my fav